Hey! Things are back in business here at HQ. I feel tons better today but still hold dear, inside my heart, what I must. Michael, a friend of mine from work, went though a lot of the same stuff as me last semester and I remember him telling me about it. I talked to him yesterday, and he said "It sucks you know? But one day you just wake up and think, 'wow, life is fun again.'" I think I felt that today, and actually thought of a pretty good comic to draw about it. I just have to hold on. It's better than falling.
A co-worker that I knew died the other day. He was found dead in his car (reasons unknown at the moment). He was older than me by a few decades, but we talked every now and again while we smoked cigarettes or when I worked in the dish room. I talked to him about my degree in college and what I planned on doing afterward. The last time I saw him it was when I gave him back his ID that he had dropped. He didn't even know he had lost it. Once when I was really bored in the dish room, he let me leave and go work outside in the dining room. From what I knew of him, he was a good guy.
Fluke is our local comic and mini-zine expose for emerging as well as established artists around the community. Unfortunately, I didn't go last year. Be sure to check the Top Shelf table. They publish popular artists such as Jeffrey Brown and mayyybe James Kochalka? Anyway, if anyone is interested, gimme a shout. You can access their blog here.
Let's drink some beer and read some comics!
I recently partook in the university's Campus Movie Fest and completed a film titled Death Rose. It's about two scientists who like the same girl, only for different reasons. I thought up the name in class one day, and thought it was pretty funny. When I asked my friends if they would go see a movie called Death Rose, they all said no. So I made it. And all of them have seen it. I'm not sure how it's going to compete against the other films, but hopefully it will be shown on Feb 2, 2009 @ the Hodgson Hall Performing Arts center. If you want to come to the screening with us, and haven't already expressed this burning desire, then contact me!
Let's drink some beer and watch some short films!
I want to be someone that someone else wants to be with.
if you need a new little band to listen to check out Say Hi
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
my bike is fixed!
Morning blog. Nothing special, but it's better than twitter right?
I got my bike back today and realized that the mechanic perhaps wrote the directions down wrong, because they replaced the wrong brake wire. Which means that the wire that broke a couple days ago is still broken. They changed a wire, and screwed in a brake pad. It was 20 dollars.
The mechanic also wrote on the receipt:
"Bike is a "basket case" and very unsafe to ride
*brakes are AGAG
*no real brakes
*all bearings are loose
would suggest NOT riding bike in condition that it is in.
make sure customer signs this ticket."
I got my bike back today and realized that the mechanic perhaps wrote the directions down wrong, because they replaced the wrong brake wire. Which means that the wire that broke a couple days ago is still broken. They changed a wire, and screwed in a brake pad. It was 20 dollars.
The mechanic also wrote on the receipt:
"Bike is a "basket case" and very unsafe to ride
*brakes are AGAG
*no real brakes
*all bearings are loose
would suggest NOT riding bike in condition that it is in.
make sure customer signs this ticket."
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
when i stopped writing, i stopped listening to myself
Sometimes I look at my dog and think "She looks depressed." Just lying on her side, eyes open, staring at a wall or something. Is that how I look when I lie on my bed and space out?
Thinking for me is like... well a lot of things. It could be like when you dig through a record collection, and you see one you like. You put your hand there, and keep flipping through. After awhile, the records become too heavy and you have to decide: go back to that record you saw earlier, or let go of it, and look at the one you've found, or keep searching.
My thoughts are little hazy clouds that float around my eyes and somehow I can see them as clear as if they were happening in front of me. But my memory switches around, since it is telling a story. I can think of what other people saw, felt, said, and view myself in third person.
Let's talk about Emo. What ever happened to the mental and musical movement that influenced so much of my adolescence and young adulthood? Any overthinking teenager at the time welcomed the themes of relationships and growing up differently than others. This contemplation need not go on any further because I just realized what it was I was trying to get at, and I understand now. Losing a girlfriend is not the worst thing that could happen to you.
But let's keep talking. A big thanks to Tron who told me about this song Young Bride by Midlake. I've been listening to it almost non-stop for the better part of an hour. They say that scent is the sense that is tied strongest to memory, but when I listen to certain songs, the notes conjure specific memories for me almost every time. So I think, "When I listen to this song a year from now, I'll probably remember talking to Erin, and how I felt during that conversation."
Thinking for me is like... well a lot of things. It could be like when you dig through a record collection, and you see one you like. You put your hand there, and keep flipping through. After awhile, the records become too heavy and you have to decide: go back to that record you saw earlier, or let go of it, and look at the one you've found, or keep searching.
My thoughts are little hazy clouds that float around my eyes and somehow I can see them as clear as if they were happening in front of me. But my memory switches around, since it is telling a story. I can think of what other people saw, felt, said, and view myself in third person.
Let's talk about Emo. What ever happened to the mental and musical movement that influenced so much of my adolescence and young adulthood? Any overthinking teenager at the time welcomed the themes of relationships and growing up differently than others. This contemplation need not go on any further because I just realized what it was I was trying to get at, and I understand now. Losing a girlfriend is not the worst thing that could happen to you.
But let's keep talking. A big thanks to Tron who told me about this song Young Bride by Midlake. I've been listening to it almost non-stop for the better part of an hour. They say that scent is the sense that is tied strongest to memory, but when I listen to certain songs, the notes conjure specific memories for me almost every time. So I think, "When I listen to this song a year from now, I'll probably remember talking to Erin, and how I felt during that conversation."
Sunday, January 25, 2009
sunday afternoon
I moved my grandmother and her husband into their new retirement home this weekend. I was in a car for a total of about 10 hours. Their new place is smaller then their old one, and they only get one a meal a day opposed to three. They seemed very upset when they saw how small the place was.
I don't live alone, but lately I've been acting like it. There's something comforting about being able to be by yourself, and do anything you feel like. But sometimes the dam breaks and I feel a rush of loneliness overwhelm me. It's a tremendous feeling at first, and then it slowly seeps across me. Things aren't really that bad though, maybe I just like thinking a lot in my head and imagining things that depress me. This needs to change.
When I'm driving with someone and sitting in the passenger seat of a car, I get the sudden urge to put the gear shift into park, and blow up the car. The car probably wouldn't blow up, but I just think, "What the fuck is wrong with me?"
Last night we watched the This American Life television show. I did that instead of going to a party, and I liked it better.
Two cans of dog food, an orange bottle of pills, a wind up cowboy on a horse figurine, a roll of film, four decks of cards, an old super 8 camcorder, index cards, pens, bicycle handlebar tape, wood glue, nail clippers, two fake sheriff's badges, a bottle of blue paint, an old beer can, a book issued by the American Red Cross titled Life Saving & Water Safety, an ash try, two speakers, two hands, sleeves pushed up to my elbows, a white cord dangling from each ear, one shoe on top of the other.
I wish I had more windows in my room.
I don't live alone, but lately I've been acting like it. There's something comforting about being able to be by yourself, and do anything you feel like. But sometimes the dam breaks and I feel a rush of loneliness overwhelm me. It's a tremendous feeling at first, and then it slowly seeps across me. Things aren't really that bad though, maybe I just like thinking a lot in my head and imagining things that depress me. This needs to change.
When I'm driving with someone and sitting in the passenger seat of a car, I get the sudden urge to put the gear shift into park, and blow up the car. The car probably wouldn't blow up, but I just think, "What the fuck is wrong with me?"
Last night we watched the This American Life television show. I did that instead of going to a party, and I liked it better.
Two cans of dog food, an orange bottle of pills, a wind up cowboy on a horse figurine, a roll of film, four decks of cards, an old super 8 camcorder, index cards, pens, bicycle handlebar tape, wood glue, nail clippers, two fake sheriff's badges, a bottle of blue paint, an old beer can, a book issued by the American Red Cross titled Life Saving & Water Safety, an ash try, two speakers, two hands, sleeves pushed up to my elbows, a white cord dangling from each ear, one shoe on top of the other.
I wish I had more windows in my room.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I thought the eye sticker on the bottle was winking at me
The semester has just begun, and already I feel myself losing control, patience, motivation, and determination. However here I sit, typing away and sipping a post-work beer. Today I got knocked in the head with a trash can someone was carrying over his shoulder. I was surprised that I didn't say anything, perhaps because I was just shocked that such a strange thing even happened. Then I thought that by not saying something, I was giving the impression that I didn't even care. I swore and said "I fucking hate this job." One day back, and already I'm back to my normal bitching at work. I'm tired of being nice and shit. I wish I didn't always think that I'm not right all of the time. Only a couple people at work have bitched at me, and I'm sure that they didn't care whether or not it made me hate them!
On the ride home tonight, I was going down a pretty steep hill and squeezed my back brakes (the front ones don't work) to slow down. Just then I hear a popping noise and the lever loses tension. Fortunately, they were still working and my sudden panic slowly left me. Upon arriving at the bottom of the hill I squeezed the brakes once more to take a look at the wire. There were only two wires keeping the lever and the brakes connected. Two wires saved me tonight. Otherwise, I would have had to jump off of my bike at a pretty fast speed and steep incline (I was headed right towards a four lane main road). I suppose I'll have to get two wires tattooed on me somewhere now.
"Did someone draw on you with pen?"
"No, let me tell you about this one time two wires saved me..."
Very worth it.
I'm driving home tomorrow to help my Dad move my whiny Grandmother out of town. I really can't blame her. She and her husband live in an assisted living residential building and it sucks. So they are moving to the north. Yay.
Does anyone else live in a cold house? We refuse to turn on the gas because it costs too much. However we do run electric space heaters which might use up just as much energy. Either way, our house is unavoidably going to be a certain level of cold. It's cold in this house. You can see your breath.
I'm boring.
UPDATE: Today my dog opened the door into my room (which usually results in a disastrous display of stuff I like). Strange this was, she had brought an Ewok stuffed bear and Wolf hat (noun: hat which is consisted of the head of a wolf, from its ears, to its chin) onto the bed. Neither was chewed up or mangled in any way. It makes me think that she brought them up there as company or something. So interesting.
On the ride home tonight, I was going down a pretty steep hill and squeezed my back brakes (the front ones don't work) to slow down. Just then I hear a popping noise and the lever loses tension. Fortunately, they were still working and my sudden panic slowly left me. Upon arriving at the bottom of the hill I squeezed the brakes once more to take a look at the wire. There were only two wires keeping the lever and the brakes connected. Two wires saved me tonight. Otherwise, I would have had to jump off of my bike at a pretty fast speed and steep incline (I was headed right towards a four lane main road). I suppose I'll have to get two wires tattooed on me somewhere now.
"Did someone draw on you with pen?"
"No, let me tell you about this one time two wires saved me..."
Very worth it.
I'm driving home tomorrow to help my Dad move my whiny Grandmother out of town. I really can't blame her. She and her husband live in an assisted living residential building and it sucks. So they are moving to the north. Yay.
Does anyone else live in a cold house? We refuse to turn on the gas because it costs too much. However we do run electric space heaters which might use up just as much energy. Either way, our house is unavoidably going to be a certain level of cold. It's cold in this house. You can see your breath.
I'm boring.
UPDATE: Today my dog opened the door into my room (which usually results in a disastrous display of stuff I like). Strange this was, she had brought an Ewok stuffed bear and Wolf hat (noun: hat which is consisted of the head of a wolf, from its ears, to its chin) onto the bed. Neither was chewed up or mangled in any way. It makes me think that she brought them up there as company or something. So interesting.
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