real quick

i had a dream this morning where my friends were swimming in a pool, and then the pool got sucked into a smaller hole, but it was very "time warp-y" that is, the whole pool and its people sort of bent upwards at each end, and were sucked into the hole like a 2-d object. Anyway, I was a little frightened, and ran up to the hole to try and make some sense of what had happened. At this time, the hole is now perpendicular with my bipedal posture, and I am looking into it much like a window (why i do not know). What stood before me was a cylindrical underground tower, descending downward. Dripping fresh with the same water that it had just taken in, however, i saw some slight moss growth on the walls, so it was as if there had been water in the tower for quite some time and it had just been drained, taking the pool with it. it was meagerly lit by the light at the entrance, and there was a spiral brick stair case which curved around the circumference. I was amazed at the space of the underground tower, as it was about 30 or 40 feet in diameter, and the hole through which I was staring at did not allow for such a space. As I lifted my first leg over the hole, I heard, echoing from below, my friends who were sucked in, and some terrible, horrible growl. However, the growl was closer than they. It, was coming up the stairs.


This is true!

Damn girl

I get honorary certificates for not drinking on weekdays, medals for giving my friends rides to places, commemorative plates for taking showers, glass trophies for going to work, and a lifetime achievement award for being happy for you.

I wrote that in my facebook, but since I usually delete stuff in there with out a thought other than "that is old and needs to be changed," I decided to keep a copy of it here.

I found an old pair of faux-bans in the street, complete with orange, arms? what are those things called? the folding parts. Anyway, they were missing a lens and covered in dirt, and I had walked by them before on my way to school so I just grabbed them, popped the other one out, and wore them until i got close enough that someone might see me. My friend told me that she knew a guy who rocked lensless like it was his job. He worked at.. steve madden? no, louis vuitton, so I guess he was close.

Big frames are in. They are hot right now. Gotta get 'em right though. Get em wrong, and you will lose all your friends (to the one who got it right). And then you will think "why did i do that?" and there will be no one, not even your own consciousness there to answer you, because you have drank so much that you stumble into you bed, and only get one leg out of your pants before your body stops trying and you curl up a little bit. you begin to think about the night, and soon enough, you realize that you are okay, and you stretch out, glance at the ceiling, smile, and a laugh the smallest laugh to yourself. "i don't care if I don't have any friends anymore," you think "those glasses were expensive."

edit: and then you feel your eyes swelling with warm tears, and as you squint and they crawl down your cheeks, you keep your eyes shut, and decide that it'd be best to keep them closed, at least, for the rest of the night. You place your hands on your chest, and think about going to sleep. The thought that you probably look like you would in a coffin crosses your mind, but that's stupid.

a chance to unwind

This weekend can be summed by what some would call "work hard, play hard." I've always hated that statement, mainly because of my association of it with Atlantic Station.

This weekend, I woke up in the morning, went to the library, and worked on a paper pretty much until it got dark. Then I went out to celebrate Twilight. It was just as exhilarating as I had remembered, to see the cyclists speed by not more than a few feet away. My buddies from freshman year were in town and I had a great time hanging out with them. We ended up at Walker's where my friend told me she was pretty much negotiation the sale of toilets. It was definitely a night where I might've done more shots than total number of beers I drank. We'll call it equal.

Today I watched Groundhog's Day which was great. And then we watched One Crazy Summer the sister movie to Better Off Dead and finished it off with The Wackness which I enjoyed. I wanted to drink during the last film, but held off. So then I had one when I got home @ 1 and here I am.

You know, my life is not that exciting, but somehow you people still read about it. I guess it's easier when you don't hang out with me a lot.

I ran into a girl today who I know I've met multiple times. This shot across my mind as we approached each other. "Hey Jeremey" she said. "Hey what's up?" was all I had. "You still don't remember my name do you?" I smiled and said "No sorry!" And yeah, I think I got away with it.

I don't really know why I'm still awake. I took about a two minute nap around 1, and now I'm kept awake by my desire to say something of worth, and hopefully have it reach you.

Well, rather than continue to put my senses to rest while waiting for wit to strike, I'll leave you with a little "easter egg" about the name of this blog, as well as my soup (which you you you you uh... can check out). The phrase "everyday from work" comes from the Voxtrot song "rise up in the dirt." It is one of my favorites, not only for its meolodic beauty, but also its subject matter. I suppose that in my mind, I just view it as an optomistic, slightly skeptic, weary, and energized song about doing your best, and still being pretty enamored with a girl. Anyway, you can give it a listen here.

i was going to end this post with a sentimental quote but whatever right. It's quarter to 4 and i'm doing just what i want to.

last night was a blast until i found myself in the street, reveling in my tiny victory of not having to worry about cars. I fell asleep on a rooftop and woke up shortly after, dazed. "are you ready to go home?" yeah. I told Jay that prayers go nowhere. No one recieves them.

So I'm in the library right now, working on my paper which is due in less than an hour. I am, however, not stressed at all, because I know I won't finish it before class. What's unfortunate is that the library closes @ 9 tonight, so that's when I'll have to go home, and work in the less productive atmosphere of my room. Whenever I finish my paper tonight though, I'm going to have a beer. No matter what time. So maybe sometime around 4 a.m.. It's also unfortunate that I'll be in town tonight, and not able to go attend the Twilight festivities. Oh well though. I can spare a night of my social life in order to do something that will let me graduate. So yeah, come by my house @ 4 a.m. for what I will deem "ante beeridiem?"

... eh.

seriously though, if you show up at my house at 4 a.m. you are crazy.

meteors versus frozen food dinners

so we went out tonight with the hopes of catching a glimpse of some meteors, but unfortunately I didn't see any. What is good is this Green Giant potato, red pepper, and snap pea frozen dinner that I bought today. It's kinda high in its sodium count, but it's definitely the least guilty food I've eaten in awhile after a few. So 'bravo!' green giant.

As for the meteorites, who knows how far away they are right now? I wonder if they knew I was trying to see them, if only for a moment of their stunning journey.

slap

Ever been slapped? If I have, I don't remember it. I don't think I've been backhanded either. I'm sure I've been told things that had the same effect though.

Some of my friends get drunk and slap each other. Sometimes I'm drunk with them and they ask me to slap them. What's good about getting degraded? Who says you are? Pain is a funny thing. A sting to wake you up, or an ache that reminds you that your nerves work both ways.

While I was waiting for Blue to get her cast reset today, I read a bit of the NY Times. There's a lot in it that really doesn't interest me, but I know I should read it. When I have a newspaper in my hands, I want to soak it all up. Except USA Today (which I don't bother reading). There was an interesting article about Wired magazine and an issue it released that featured hidden riddles and puzzles cleverly blended in by J.J Abrams. The article was about how that is a way of keeping people's interest in print.

Sometimes I feel particular to the generation of hyper-attentive multitaskers. Today I was reading a magazine and doing stuff on the internet (like filling out forms). I read while I had to wait for things to load. That's not a big deal, but do you listen to music when you study? Some people choose not to. Whenever my Dad doesn't know something, his first thought is to go to a library and pull an encyclopedia off the shelf. Where is this going? It'd be a cool project to devise some piece of at that demonstrated hyper-attention.

gotta go

ego on a hot tin roof

Life Story

by Tennessee Williams

After you've been to bed together for the first time,
without the advantage or disadvantage of any prior acquaintance,
the other party very often says to you,
Tell me about yourself, I want to know all about you,
what's your story? And you think maybe they really and truly do

sincerely want to know your life story, and so you light up
a cigarette and begin to tell it to them, the two of you
lying together in completely relaxed positions
like a pair of rag dolls a bored child dropped on a bed.

You tell them your story, or as much of your story
as time or a fair degree of prudence allows, and they say,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
each time a little more faintly, until the oh
is just an audible breath, and then of course

there's some interruption. Slow room service comes up
with a bowl of melting ice cubes, or one of you rises to pee
and gaze at himself with mild astonishment in the bathroom mirror.
And then, the first thing you know, before you've had time
to pick up where you left off with your enthralling life story,
they're telling you their life story, exactly as they'd intended to all
along,

and you're saying, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
each time a little more faintly, the vowel at last becoming
no more than an audible sigh,
as the elevator, halfway down the corridor and a turn to the left,
draws one last, long, deep breath of exhaustion
and stops breathing forever. Then?

Well, one of you falls asleep
and the other one does likewise with a lighted cigarette in his mouth,
and that's how people burn to death in hotel rooms.

"Life Story" by Tennessee Williams, from The Collected Poems of Tennessee Williams. © New Directions, 2002. Reprinted with permission

***

I did not get permission to digitally reprint this, but hopefully, ol' T.W. can rest assured that his writing touched yet another person.

THIS is something like I write.

what's up with that hulu vid?

OMP!!!!!!!~~~!!!!11111!1!1?!

Ameliorate

I HAD quite a laugh today! Probably the hardest I've laughed in a long time.

I WAS talking to my friend Alex, on his front porch, and we were discussing our post graduation plans. He told me that he applied for a job as a raft guide. I followed this with "Did you major in rafting?" And for some golden reason, I just started cracking up! Him too!
As I was laughing and wondering why it was so funny, and trying to regain control of myself, Alex said "Yeah, I'm actually taking this paddling class during Maymester, so we'll see how that goes." I didn't even realize he was keeping the joke running until halfway through that.

The porch stands about ten feet away from a mildly busy intersection. It's a really nice place to sit, and watch as things go by. A brown tabby strutted around and it reminded me of the one my grandpa used to have. It was a fat cat, and didn't like me. I once ate an entire bottle of those chewable orange vitamin C tablets. What? They tasted like candy, and I'm sure I made up some sort of game where like, each one gave me power or something. My grandpa and mom freaked out. I got in trouble for over-supplementing! Childhood... and all it's twisted humor.

I went to a Sedar today hosted by the Jewish Student Life organization. It was pretty cool. I ate parsley dipped in salt water to remember the sweat and tears of ancestors. I also heard the African American chorus ensemble which was amazing! They are performing again this Sunday @ 3 @ milledge baptist? which I want to attend.

I don't know what it is, exams, stress, nice weather outside, but cashiers don't like me much. I couldn't be any more a waste of their time. Baggers are the cool people. They're like "have a good day" and put stickers and shit on your stuff that doesn't fit into no bag. Sometimes I take my frustration out on customers, but that's because I'm cleaning up their food and shit. I swear, some of those kids might as well be eating spaghetti-o's with an extra wide spoon. Being a cashier, although redundant, isn't that hard.

I traced "AWESOME" on my arm today with a stencil. I used a permanent marker. I showed it to my friend and she said "ooo that's nice. yeah. right on your blood line?" I asked if that was bad, and she said yeah. I asked if I should wash it off but she said the damage was already done. I washed it off anyway. How ironic that my awesome tat should end up being NOT COOL. I tried imagine what exactly it was that went into my skin today and rationalized it as par with a night of drinking. Mmmmm. I'm going to Whiskeytown this weekend. That's going to be a distillingly good time.

Ho hum. I've been working on this paper for so long, sitting in this room, I feel drained. A psychologist once told me that my room and bed should be the most comforting things to me. I was having trouble sleeping. I like where my bed is now. I don't feel as closed in. I just sit there and look over to the empty side.

I was watching the scene in Groundhog's Day tonight where Bill Murray is playing piano on stage and Annie MacDonnel walks in. If you haven't seen the movie, then you won't understand this, and I probably shouldn't spoil it. But if you have seen it... that's what I'm hoping for. A moment when someone sees.
"You've changed..."
"I didn't get here in one day."

I also thought about the beginning to Honey I Shrunk the Kids where the kids are getting chased by remote controlled lawn mowers and battling ants, and getting plunged into cheerios. I sort of feel like that too. Honey I Blew Up the Kids gets an award for special effects because they actually built a replica tiny set for the kid to run around in during his shots of being "blow'd up." Honey, I Blew Up the Kids... maybe not what some were expecting.

I've watched the clock go from 11:11 to 1:11. I think I'll go to sleep now. If I could give you a smile that didn't make you say "what?" then I wouldn't have to tell you "nothing, you're just pretty."

I'm going crazy thinking about all the work I have to do. I began some of it tonight and it just went slow, and I couldn't write, and nothing really was coming out.

I could almost feel a panic attack coming on. shortness of breath.

I don't need anyone's attention, and I don't need anything to go right, in order for me to be happy.

I don't need to depend on anything except myself.

Let's see that happen.

what better way

to keep procrastinating than to write in your blog when you don't really have anything to say.

I've been procrastinating a paper for over four weeks. That's the longest I've ever gone in my entire college career. Which is coming to an end.

I was talking to my friend the other day and she expressed her frustration with seniors who are tired of this town. I could see her view on it, but I used to feel tired of this town too. I think that for a lot of people, it becomes Limbo. You get this feeling that you're ready to move on with your life and take it somewhere else, but you have this last little bit to get through. It's a strange thing, seeing the end of your college career within sight. For me, at least, I see it as exciting and sentimentally sad. It's a little frightening too, and I begin to understand what all of my friends mean when they say "I miss college." Luckily, I'm going into a two year art program after I graduate (fingers crossed), so that's room to breathe. Sometimes I think that my recent abnegation of motivation and happiness is a product stemmed from a subconscious protest against graduating. Am I afraid of what's to come?

I'll tell you what I should be afraid of, is not doing well in my current classes. Here we go!

soap

rural outfitters, now that's funny.

News:

I just found an old baguette which was so hard that I could probably use it to break into your car. Or hit a home run.

When I rearranged my room, I found the two missing cards to Clue. The knife and the candlestick. Although, we were missing the miniature knife piece, so we replaced it with some silver turtle pin I found on the ground.

I've been listening to a lot of Pandora lately.

When I look out my window, I see our neighbor's newly renovated house. April is historical preservation month, and I guess her house is old. She is too though, and I think that has something to do with the community's sense of duty because our house is old too (and falling apart) but no one helped us.

I went to a party last night that was a little ways out on the East side. It's refreshing to go to a party like that every once in awhile because the people who attend them have usually lived in this town for more than a decade. It's just nice to feel like you aren't at some typical college party.

hold on i am brushing my dog

there is nothing else to report

"think of me as just a fan

who remembers every dress you ever wore" S.M.

I watched Jeopardy! last night, and missed two questions that I should have gotten. The answers were, "What is Invisible Man" and "What is The Stranger."

Damn! and oh well. Sort of like how today I got two bags of chips for the price of one. I saw the first bag effortlessly dangling from its corner, caught on another bag of chips. I looked both ways, and embarrassingly shoved the vending machine just a bit. A part of me was afraid that some sort of alarm would go off, much like on the machines in the arcade or a pinball machine. I ended up just buying the one behind it, but I felt sort of guilty taking someone else's chips. I thought about leaving them somewhere, conveying "Hey, here are your rightfully purchased sea salt and cracked pepper kettle cooked potato chips."


Nope. I just ate one before class since I was starving, and am eating the other one right now. Sorry whoever-you-are. I suppose that if you are a kind and generous person, you can be comforted knowing that your chips went to a good cause. On the other hand, who says that me eating them is a good cause? If it's worth anything, they remind me of ramen noodles. So there. Looks like I still won.

It's Easter man. Apple pie and beer a la mode.

You realized that strength and courage weigh more in books than in your body.

I keep forgetting because I think you still remember.

quiet

Tonight we held a funeral for an owl.

It had been left at my friend's house, and he came across it when he got home.

I brought over a shovel and a beer at roughly 7:15 p.m..

He was dressed in a pinstripe suit, and it conveyed his concern.

We walked out to what is affectionately known as the "The Kudzu" and I carried the box containing the owl. We picked a spot under the twenty foot tree that bends to one side and supports a rope swing. The hole was dug, and he gave a few words for the departed. We threw in some things for Mr. Hoots, and hummed Amazing Grace. Three of our friends gave a roman candle salute while the first batch of dirt was laid upon Mr. Hoots.

It seemed very Wes Anderson.

Death on your doorstop. And I didn't even wear black.

notification

everytime i see a "1" pop up next to my facebook inbox, i think "i wonder what it is." My initial rxn is that it's something from someone who is dear to me. something that she couldn't or didn't want to post on my wall. something that meant more than some frivolous and brief exposition.

Notifications do the same thing. What is it? "Play scrabble and totally tell your boss what's up."



No thank you.


I hate this blog. There's no meaning in it except for strangers who can somehow piece things together enough to make some sort of connection. Meanwhile I'm left sitting behind a computer spilling my guts to the

miss

indifferent agony. blogger doesn't save drafts. and this computer crashes when i least expect it.

a penchant for kindness only masks a capacity for cruelty.

"my right eye is the prettiest

so look at that one, if you can only focus on one."

When you are really close to someone, it's sometimes difficult to look into both of her eyes.

Today I rearranged my room to how it used to be (I think). My desk is now in the corner where my amp and keyboard used to be. My bed now runs perpendicular out from the side of the wall with the bathroom door on it. It's positioned about three feet from the window. My bedside table runs perpendicular along the same wall, stretching towards the door. Other than that, there are the piles of dirt and dog hair that I swept up, and miscellaneous objects hiding the floor. It brings a nice, new feel to my room, and I'm also beginning to pack away some of the things I know I won't be using in the next few months. My room is filled with random clutter. More so than you probably think. This simpler set up helps convey organization.

News:
After receiving a phone call and an estimate for how much it'd be to fix my laptop, it looks like it's going to stay broken.

If all goes according to plan, I'll be able to walk with my this year's English BA grads @ the Chapel. We'll see.

There's more, but I have to run.

sunshine

life has been pretty interesting lately. The details of which, i won't go into at the moment, but believe me when I say, it's a lot more fun.