unsure

I walked to my desk with a calculated stride, taking care to place each foot on the floor so as to make a small sound, in tempo with my heartbeat. I tossed my keys beside the computer, and laid down the bill I had just received in the mail. I drew up the curtain before I sat down, twisting it into a coil and then tying it into a knot. I spent about an hour or so, reading short passages and listening to music. It was then that a slow, creeping pressure began to lean against me. Heavier and heavier it became until finally I found myself in need to lie down. I closed my eyes, and thought "This time, I had less to do with it. This time, it found me."