Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I'm not exactly sure where true happiness lies.
Maybe it's in the lighting in my room.
Or the speakers which play my music.
Maybe it's in cleaning my room
Or reading a book
And feeling it affect you
Comfort food has been reduced to Ramen
And water is a nutritionless healthy alternative
I try to toss and turn in my sleep
but the exposed springs in my mattress catch on my belt loops
In the middle of the day I realize that my jaw hurts
Maybe I grind my teeth at night
True happiness could be in my dreams
Carver said that dreams are things that you wake up from
I used to believe that
I love dreams that scare me terribly
I wake up only to hear the end of a moan or gasp that I have let out
It takes my brain a second or two
And I realize that all of it was just a nightmare
and that my life has not taken me through such adventures
True happiness is some sort of invisible location
I'm always trying to go to
Like I think I can just walk up to it













Do you fall asleep with a smile?

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