I'm not exactly sure where true happiness lies.
Maybe it's in the lighting in my room.
Or the speakers which play my music.
Maybe it's in cleaning my room
Or reading a book
And feeling it affect you
Comfort food has been reduced to Ramen
And water is a nutritionless healthy alternative
I try to toss and turn in my sleep
but the exposed springs in my mattress catch on my belt loops
In the middle of the day I realize that my jaw hurts
Maybe I grind my teeth at night
True happiness could be in my dreams
Carver said that dreams are things that you wake up from
I used to believe that
I love dreams that scare me terribly
I wake up only to hear the end of a moan or gasp that I have let out
It takes my brain a second or two
And I realize that all of it was just a nightmare
and that my life has not taken me through such adventures
True happiness is some sort of invisible location
I'm always trying to go to
Like I think I can just walk up to it
Do you fall asleep with a smile?
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